Some Crap, Part IV

Here I am, waiting for my character in Runescape to regenerate his health back to the max. Crap, I goota stop playing these online games. PMR is only a few months away and I am sitting here, waiting for a another round of Fist of Guthix so that I can buy some dumb Rune gauntlets for my noob 46-level warrior. Am I pathetic? My English teacher says I have the Middle-Child-Attention-Grabbing Syndrome which I have never heard before, but must be true since she caught me doing some crazy stuff (laughing continuously for 15 seconds, running up and down from my desk to Nicholas's to watch him catch Lugia, a legendary Pokemon on his handphone, disturbing Trisha with weird questions etc.) in class. She tried to counsel me, but nothing that stupid can change me from losing it for a few hours. Losing it makes me high for a few minutes or so. Listening to Eminem's "Just Lose It" makes it better, since it's poking fun at Michael(Child Molester)Jackson and a few other equally deserving idiots. I have no idea what to study or when to study, what homework to do or what to do with it, I seriously have something wrong with me. Sh*t.

Hobo

Recently I learned a new word: Hobo. Nope, hobos are not hobbits and neither will they be. They are not a kind of race either. Hobos are multicultural homeless people living on the streets, drinking beer and smoking weed, plus scooping a few half-bitten, moss-covered Big Macs in the garbage bin. According to Wikipedia, my favourite and the world's most trusted web encyclopedia (Actually I like Chickipedia better, but don't tell anybody), Hobo is a term that refers to homeless migrants, particularly those who make a habit of hopping freight trains. The iconic image of a hobo is that of an itinerant beggar, one that was solidified in American culture during the Great Depression. Hobos are often depicted carrying a bindle and/or a sign asking for money. I learned about this word when my 9 year old cousin showed me this cool Hobo game online. You control a homeless, outright rude and extremely disgusting Hobo that has powers like puking green, radioactive-like mushy stuff and passing motion (sh*tting) on people to kill them. On the other hand, there are lighter attacks like spitting, farting and shooting mucus at enemies, namely police, the garbage collectors, high school dudes, hookers, their clients and some crazy aunties. The Hobo's mission is just to find a decent place to sleep, but the garbage collectors always mess with him so he wasn't happy with it at all. Nice game, too bad it was too short. Really want to try some neat Hobo moves with my classmates next time. Probably it will start a Hobo War that will cause the Hobo Judgement Day and Hobo-Terminators to attack me with burps and faeces and I will change my name to John Kevin Hobo Connor Jr. and be the prophesied messiah for all the Hobos in this world. Damn, I gotta stop day-dreaming. Hobos rule!

Terminator Salvation

This movie is the best Terminator show so far, excluding T2 and T1 (because I haven't watched T1 and T2 has the muscular Arnold Schwarzenegger kicking some robotic ass and the immortal "Hasta La Vista, Baby!" line that will always have a special spot in my heart). Needless to say, T3 was an absolute dissapointment, but on the bright side it has the ultra sexy T-X and also explains how Judgement Day happened, even though I didn't really like Kate Brewster in that film (Claire Danes is the least attractive/ugliest girl in all Terminator movies, even crazy strong Linda Hamilton is hotter than her). TS has the best fight scenes ever and explosives that go bang! every few seconds, suitable for a teenage boy like me. If that's not enough, Bryce Dallas Howard as the very pregnantly hot Kate and Moon Bloodgood as the insanely foxy Resistance soldier Blair will make your blood pumping like hell. Too bad there weren't really any intimate scenes, probably because it's like the end of the world and Terminators don't make good bed partners, right?. Anyway, Anton Yelchin in the shoes of spunky, street-smart, 17-something Kyle Reese is a showstealer, he certainly has gave his character a breath of youthful fresh air. Christian Bale and newcomer Sam Worthington have also done a good job in reviving the cool franchise and brought it to greater heights. I might have been bias but you just can't disagree that Terminator Salvation is a wonderful, action-packed movie that just screams for your attention and your nine bucks for the upcoming sequel, if there is one, I hope. "I BE BACK!"

Some Crap, III

Exams are coming up just next Tuesday and I'm sitting here watching clips of Manchester beating the hell out of Arse-nal and Chelsea, playing some dumb Nitrome games and eagerly waiting for the result of one of this year's much anticipated matches. It's still 0-0 but I still believe Man Utd. can forced Aresnal to lick their boots in less than 20 minutes from now. All we need is a win to wrap up this magnificient season. I bet the Liverpool fans are nervously biting their fingernails, praying that the wimpy Arses aren't gonna let in an own goal or do a handball in the penalty box anytime from now. Too bad the only thing they can see tomorrow is Sir Alex Ferguson and his boys shoving the EPL cup right in their faces. Payback time for the thrashing we had to endure at Old Trafford a few months ago. I can't even talk about it. It makes....me....so....(sob)(sob)......so.....emotional....(sniffffffffffffff). Back to exams, I haven't really even started oing all the crap people do when preparing for it. I don't people get so fussed up before exams, I mean, come on man! it's just the mid-year exams and why should we even care about that shit? It's only pieces of paper with questions on it, clipped together. "But it has the power to send someone to a university or to be condemned to an eternal life of cleaning toilets", says some textbook-studying, tuition freaks. That's why I chose the latter. Being unemployed isn't that bad, you can sit on the couch and watch tv all day. Plus, if you eat potao chips alot, you can be a couch potato! Well, I imagined myself being a school janitor at day and masked vigilante at night, saving innocent civillians from the clutches of evil and banishing crime from the city of Malacca, just like my childhood superhero, BATMAN! Then, I'll have my own theme song and a cool black cape, complete with uber-cool gadgets like radioactive machine guns, C4 bombs, nightvision goggles and a Kelawar mobile like in the Batman & Robin movie. The best part of it is saving damsels in distress and getting to date them only to realise that I'm just a high school janitor. Oh, crap! I guess exams are also important too. But then, if only I were Bruce Wayne, or Kevin Wayne, just imagine that. Saving the world from the Pelawak or the Orang Dua Muka and looking for hot girls in Got-ham city. Batman Rules!

How To Survive In SMK Bukit Baru

I've been studying for three years in SMK Bukit Baru and I tell you, it has been both fun and crazy at times, especially in our class, 3M, arguably the most "famous" class in this school. Every teacher knows how "good" our class is and our class teacher gets complaints almost everyday, ranging from how dirty it is to how rude the students are. We're actually supposed to be the best students of Form 3, the hope of this school for PMR straight As and so on. In the end, I think it's appropriate to write a dumb guide of how to survive in our crazy environment after three long years in it. (Just to make you all understand how bad our class situation is, we're located on the highest floor of the new block F and we can do almost anything without really getting caught.)

1. NEVER stand near to a guy who is about to scream obscenities to a random stranger/strangers below the block. Even if you do, better run as fast as he does.

2. DO NOT offer your guy friends Oreo biscuits or anything like that. He might just chew it and spit it on the floor while waiting for someone to step on it. I saw this just last week, it was absolutely disgusting.

3. Leaving your shoes or bags unattended under a shade near any block is extremely inadvisable and stupid because people in our class are really good at spitting (even with the wind condition and standing at the third floor) and can shoot their yellow, thick phlegm right into your unsuspecting shoe or bag. It happened about a month ago to some Malay students near the KH bengkel while we were having our English Week presentation practice. I pity those victims.

4. Burping is a common phenomena in many classes and don't be surprised if someone burps directly in front of you. It may smell of his breakfast or lunch, or maybe the combination of both at once, all I can tell is that it won't be nice. All the teachers who have come to our class knows this and are constantly harassed by burping.

5. NEVER play dodgeball with anybody from our class or Form 5s when you ponteng the co-curriculum period anywhere. You'll be beat up pretty badly, so duck for cover.

6. Speaking of co-curriculum, don't get fooled like me into going to a illusionary "Chess Club" with your friends thinking that you can quietly do homework in one of the classrooms in a random block. You might just get locked up in that block with some 30 guys for an hour till the co-curriculum period ends, courtesy of the crazy guru koku, Ng Chin(He actually lied that he would let us go at 6pm). A "Chess Club" doesn't exist in SMK Bukit Baru and even if there will be one in the future, I can bet that nobody will be there.

7. NEVER EVER EVER let anyone in your class know your parents' names(don't let them look into your folios) at all costs possible. They(the guys in our class) will scream, for example, "Samy(Dinesh's dad, one of their favorites) SUTTT?" and another part of the guys will echo,"TAYYY!!!" which combines into a word that kinda means "ass" in Tamil. Sometimes, when we feel creative, we will hit a stamp, stamp, clap beat (like in the song, "We Will Rock You") or change the back part with "BERBU? LU!!", "BO?DOH!" and some other crude stuff I can't mention.

8. Turning on the tap in the Science lab for the likes of Eddie and Nicholas will only result in sticky hands, because they always apply a thick slab of glue and the tap before. Typical pranksters.

9. Another prank you should avoid is shaking hands with Eddie. I can bet there's a needle hidden somewhere in his fingers. I fell for it twice, damn.

10. Girls should always be aware of guys who like to pull ponytails in class. They come from behind and attack as many of them are listening to the teacher or sleeping. I must confess that I've tried it before, just to test how they managed to pull it off so successfully. It was cool seeing her tie it back. I'm really sorry. Couldn't help it.

On the lighter side, do
1. Sneak out of the Science lab when ever-boring Mr.Krishna is doing a petroleum distillation experiment that smells so bad and go buy some snacks at the koperasi nearby.

2. Scribble terms from the popular Science Chapter 4: Reproduction on your desk and places near it.

3. Have a competition of throwing paper planes down the block. See who can throw the furthest. Make sure your discipline teachers like Mr."My Botak Head's So Shiny, It Can Burn A Hole In Your Eyes" Wong or some equally bald ustaz never catches you in the act.

Some Crap, Part II

She's a loaded gun,
In my shaking hands,
Am I in hell,
Or in the promised land?

(Whats your name)
If I tell you my name you gotta let me in
(You can be)
You can be the sinner, I'll be the sin
(I will take)
I'll take what I want, and it's easy to see, I got everything, everything

Sometimes, when you're bored, like me, you switch on the computer and double click the iTunes icon on your desktop and start looking for your Jet songs to play air guitar to and you find the extremely cool "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" sitting among the rows and rows of equally cool songs. You proceed to double click on it and find your fingers tapping to the aweome beat and you head bopping to the heavenly distorted guitar riff. And when it comes to the chorus,

She said
Show me yours, (Show you what I got yeah)
I'll show you mine (Will you tell me what you need)
Show me yours, (So put your money where your mouth is)
I'll show you mine

Then lead singer Nic Cester screams, "COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", followed by an incredible guitar solo. To me, this is just perfect.

Dead? I don't think so.

I've been escaping from this blog for days and finally have braved myself to write another post. This week has been all about change, especially in school. After ranting about how my classmates drool over DotA and would kill their siblings just to take a sneak peek of a any new updates for that godforsaken game, I have found another dude that has the same thinking of what has been happening to us, thank God. So we've decided to mix with the other guys in our class (not that we don't socialize with them at all, it's just that we don't hang out as often with the Indian and Malay classmates) and change our meeting place to the canteen to chill with them. The usual guys like Karti, Tivander, Dinesh, Wei Teen, Shahrul are extremely funny dudes to be with, so I definitely hope that this change will be good for me and Nicholas (the guy mentioned at the top) after 2 and 6 months of loitering at our usual place talking about crap, girls, rubik's cube and basically just crap. It's not that we won't be talking about crap when chilling out with our new gang, it's just gonna be different and more exciting, especially when talking about the opposite sex when those jokers. Talking about change in this week, there is one that has been evident since it's start, what I'm talking about is the English Week. Since Monday, there has been a non-stop broadcast of dumb English songs(in exception for John Mayer's "Waiting for the World to Change") that included "Jai Ho" from Slumdog Millionaire that seemed a little out of place. In conjunction of this English Week, we have a short story competition that is compulsory for our class. I was paired with Nicholas and Pei Xiong, one of the worst things you can do in class. SO we're currently thinking of writing something that covers aliens, robots, big guns, explosives, pervertic sifus and most importantly hot chicks. It's essential in every story that guys read, even if they can't, WE HAVE PICTURES. Yeah, our teacher said it's a must to illustrate the story that we're writing. All I need to do now is to make sure draw the hot babe correctly with the right proportions. Excuse me while I sketch, hehe....