How To Survive In SMK Bukit Baru

I've been studying for three years in SMK Bukit Baru and I tell you, it has been both fun and crazy at times, especially in our class, 3M, arguably the most "famous" class in this school. Every teacher knows how "good" our class is and our class teacher gets complaints almost everyday, ranging from how dirty it is to how rude the students are. We're actually supposed to be the best students of Form 3, the hope of this school for PMR straight As and so on. In the end, I think it's appropriate to write a dumb guide of how to survive in our crazy environment after three long years in it. (Just to make you all understand how bad our class situation is, we're located on the highest floor of the new block F and we can do almost anything without really getting caught.)

1. NEVER stand near to a guy who is about to scream obscenities to a random stranger/strangers below the block. Even if you do, better run as fast as he does.

2. DO NOT offer your guy friends Oreo biscuits or anything like that. He might just chew it and spit it on the floor while waiting for someone to step on it. I saw this just last week, it was absolutely disgusting.

3. Leaving your shoes or bags unattended under a shade near any block is extremely inadvisable and stupid because people in our class are really good at spitting (even with the wind condition and standing at the third floor) and can shoot their yellow, thick phlegm right into your unsuspecting shoe or bag. It happened about a month ago to some Malay students near the KH bengkel while we were having our English Week presentation practice. I pity those victims.

4. Burping is a common phenomena in many classes and don't be surprised if someone burps directly in front of you. It may smell of his breakfast or lunch, or maybe the combination of both at once, all I can tell is that it won't be nice. All the teachers who have come to our class knows this and are constantly harassed by burping.

5. NEVER play dodgeball with anybody from our class or Form 5s when you ponteng the co-curriculum period anywhere. You'll be beat up pretty badly, so duck for cover.

6. Speaking of co-curriculum, don't get fooled like me into going to a illusionary "Chess Club" with your friends thinking that you can quietly do homework in one of the classrooms in a random block. You might just get locked up in that block with some 30 guys for an hour till the co-curriculum period ends, courtesy of the crazy guru koku, Ng Chin(He actually lied that he would let us go at 6pm). A "Chess Club" doesn't exist in SMK Bukit Baru and even if there will be one in the future, I can bet that nobody will be there.

7. NEVER EVER EVER let anyone in your class know your parents' names(don't let them look into your folios) at all costs possible. They(the guys in our class) will scream, for example, "Samy(Dinesh's dad, one of their favorites) SUTTT?" and another part of the guys will echo,"TAYYY!!!" which combines into a word that kinda means "ass" in Tamil. Sometimes, when we feel creative, we will hit a stamp, stamp, clap beat (like in the song, "We Will Rock You") or change the back part with "BERBU? LU!!", "BO?DOH!" and some other crude stuff I can't mention.

8. Turning on the tap in the Science lab for the likes of Eddie and Nicholas will only result in sticky hands, because they always apply a thick slab of glue and the tap before. Typical pranksters.

9. Another prank you should avoid is shaking hands with Eddie. I can bet there's a needle hidden somewhere in his fingers. I fell for it twice, damn.

10. Girls should always be aware of guys who like to pull ponytails in class. They come from behind and attack as many of them are listening to the teacher or sleeping. I must confess that I've tried it before, just to test how they managed to pull it off so successfully. It was cool seeing her tie it back. I'm really sorry. Couldn't help it.

On the lighter side, do
1. Sneak out of the Science lab when ever-boring Mr.Krishna is doing a petroleum distillation experiment that smells so bad and go buy some snacks at the koperasi nearby.

2. Scribble terms from the popular Science Chapter 4: Reproduction on your desk and places near it.

3. Have a competition of throwing paper planes down the block. See who can throw the furthest. Make sure your discipline teachers like Mr."My Botak Head's So Shiny, It Can Burn A Hole In Your Eyes" Wong or some equally bald ustaz never catches you in the act.

Some Crap, Part II

She's a loaded gun,
In my shaking hands,
Am I in hell,
Or in the promised land?

(Whats your name)
If I tell you my name you gotta let me in
(You can be)
You can be the sinner, I'll be the sin
(I will take)
I'll take what I want, and it's easy to see, I got everything, everything

Sometimes, when you're bored, like me, you switch on the computer and double click the iTunes icon on your desktop and start looking for your Jet songs to play air guitar to and you find the extremely cool "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" sitting among the rows and rows of equally cool songs. You proceed to double click on it and find your fingers tapping to the aweome beat and you head bopping to the heavenly distorted guitar riff. And when it comes to the chorus,

She said
Show me yours, (Show you what I got yeah)
I'll show you mine (Will you tell me what you need)
Show me yours, (So put your money where your mouth is)
I'll show you mine

Then lead singer Nic Cester screams, "COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", followed by an incredible guitar solo. To me, this is just perfect.

Dead? I don't think so.

I've been escaping from this blog for days and finally have braved myself to write another post. This week has been all about change, especially in school. After ranting about how my classmates drool over DotA and would kill their siblings just to take a sneak peek of a any new updates for that godforsaken game, I have found another dude that has the same thinking of what has been happening to us, thank God. So we've decided to mix with the other guys in our class (not that we don't socialize with them at all, it's just that we don't hang out as often with the Indian and Malay classmates) and change our meeting place to the canteen to chill with them. The usual guys like Karti, Tivander, Dinesh, Wei Teen, Shahrul are extremely funny dudes to be with, so I definitely hope that this change will be good for me and Nicholas (the guy mentioned at the top) after 2 and 6 months of loitering at our usual place talking about crap, girls, rubik's cube and basically just crap. It's not that we won't be talking about crap when chilling out with our new gang, it's just gonna be different and more exciting, especially when talking about the opposite sex when those jokers. Talking about change in this week, there is one that has been evident since it's start, what I'm talking about is the English Week. Since Monday, there has been a non-stop broadcast of dumb English songs(in exception for John Mayer's "Waiting for the World to Change") that included "Jai Ho" from Slumdog Millionaire that seemed a little out of place. In conjunction of this English Week, we have a short story competition that is compulsory for our class. I was paired with Nicholas and Pei Xiong, one of the worst things you can do in class. SO we're currently thinking of writing something that covers aliens, robots, big guns, explosives, pervertic sifus and most importantly hot chicks. It's essential in every story that guys read, even if they can't, WE HAVE PICTURES. Yeah, our teacher said it's a must to illustrate the story that we're writing. All I need to do now is to make sure draw the hot babe correctly with the right proportions. Excuse me while I sketch, hehe....

Some Crap.

Finally, I have something to cheer about. Exams are over. I repeat, EXAMS ARE OVER! Too bad it isn't PMR or SPM, it's just UPP1 (Ujian Penilaian Penggal 1), does that suck or what? For the rest of this week, I'm bracing for the worst thing that comes after finishing your exams, which sometimes I feel are even worst than sitting for a three weeks of exams : Results. Getting to know you're exam results is scary, especially when the teacher refuses to disclose your results when you meet her in the canteen or the staff room. It can seriously kill. So far, I'm aiming for Fs in every subject, so I hope it won't be much of a problem. But sometimes I just can't help to wonder if I get a G for Maths, I mean, is it possible? Because it's really hard. What if after the teacher had given everyone their results, then suddenly tells me, " Congrats, Kevin, you just got -85 for your Maths paper." It's simple, because when you leave your paper blank, you get zero, right But what IF you write answers that are ridiculously stupid, and the teacher is forced to deduct marks from your already zero score and you get -85 for a godforsaken subject like Maths? Well, at least I got 72 for BM, is it something to be proud of? 'Cause I don't know.

Chinese New Year

Hi. I'm back. After nearly two weeks of not posting anything, I'm finally back. Well, what should I say? Oh yeah, Happy Chinese New Year to all of those people celebrating Chinese New Year, myself included, I wish that you all have loads of overflowing angpows in your pockets during the whole week while I rot in my room studying for my exams on February 14, the worst day on Earth (And it's a Saturday, too). I'm beginning to hate my school, one of the reasons was stated in the last sentence, another is because of our crazy new principal, who actually wants our band practice with a teacher around! WTF?! There has never been any problems happening in school band practices, and suddenly the &$%#@ headmaster starts saying that there must be a teacher for any practices to avoid any unecessary accidents that "may" occur. So now, we can't really parctice because my music teacher won't really want to stay back. This sucks.

15

I'm fifteen today. Yay! I'm sooo happy.... Nobody seems to remeber it though. Anyway, I don't care. It's not like a big deal or anything. So, all I want to say is I'm fifteen. Offically 15.

Back to School

Wow, this is a real crazy year. 2009 proved to be a roller-coaster ride in just 2 days of school. On the first day of school, I was surprised that Mr. Wong, the extremely strict Chinese teacher with a few strands of hair left clinging on his head was supposed to teach us Kemahiran Hidup. Damn, I thought, It's gonna be a nightmare. He started the class by saying that last year, he taught 17 boys from a good class and every one of them got an A for KH. So he expects the same from us. I have to admit, Mr. Wong is a pretty good teacher even though he's freakin' strict. On the first day, he asked us to line up beside the KH room, the latecomers were threatened with a hammer. "Do you want to see a flying saucer?" he pointed the hammer and waved at my classmates, thank God I was "punctual" on that day, arriving 10 minutes late compared the others, they took 15. Our first homework, was to copy the "Arahan Keselamatan di Bengkel", which consisted of 38 rules. He then asked us to memorise each of them, just like the class before us. He said in PMR, there will be at least one question on these rules. We were given 2 days to memorise it. Ermm... is this hard or what? I mean, 38 rules that are common sense, like "Memakai baju lengan pendek semasa kerja amali" and "Gunakan pemadam api untuk memadam api". It makes you think, what kind of sh*t are we learning? And the deadline's tomorrow. I'm dead meat. Mr. Wong's cane is sooo waiting for me. 

On the bright side, I was elected as AJK Muzik for this year. That means I need to ask teacher where our class will be held every few days, help her collect the workbooks from students, help her collect the music fees, rub shoulders with the AJKs from the other forms. This year gonna be busy for me. Feel like cursing.